Friday 28 July 2017

DISMANTLING FALSE OR LIMITING BELIEFS WITH TAIYE ALUKO

Today was an interesting, interactive and informative seminar about Dismantling False or Limiting Beliefs with Taiye Aluko. 
I was a guest speaker and spoke about my journey of getting rid of limiting beliefs, which subsequently birthed the movement ''Raising Confident Girls Initiative''. 



Taiye started the session by asking some imperative questions. Here are just some of the questions that she asked. What is belief? What is your standard of measure? What are your limiting beliefs? Whose standard did you use to arriving at a limiting belief that holds you back?  



Here are some limiting beliefs that she shared

SELF
I am too old
I am not qualified
I am not good enough
I don’t have what it takes
I am not an expert
There are no good men out there
People will disrespect me because I am a women

OTHERS
People are not to be trusted
Men cannot stay faithful with one woman
Domestic staff cannot be trusted

COUNTRY BELIEF
Nothing good can come out of Nigeria
Nigeria is doomed
Nigerians are no good
Nigeria can never get better


Practical Steps to Dismantling Limiting Beliefs

In an interview style, I shared my journey with Taiye. In summary, there was a season when I soaked myself in limiting beliefs which stemmed from childhood and resurfaced in adulthood. Healing came when I was able to identify the limiting beliefs and take practical steps to change it. 

What practical steps did I take to get rid of my limiting beliefs? 

Firstly, I had to be totally honest with myself and identify my limiting beliefs and pray for guidance. Then I soaked myself in positive information which helped get rid of those limited beliefs. I read books like Success Principles, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway just to mention a few. I watched inspirational videos. I created affirmations and picked out Bible passages that confirmed by new beliefs. I created a vision board. I attended motivational seminars and events. 
I started writing blogs and teaching girls about confidence. I sought deep meaningful relationships with people that shared similar values and similar beliefs. As I took baby steps, slowly those old limited beliefs disappeared and a solid belief system appeared. In 2014 Raising Confident Girls and purpose was birthed.


So today when Taiye asked us to fill a list of belief statements. I confidently ticked the following and added some more of my own.



I am responsible for my choices and outcomes
I am valuable 
I can be the best at whatever I set out to do
I have what it takes to achieve my goals
I am confident
I am a gift to the world 
I am awesome 
I matter

and so do YOU



Lessons Learned from Taiye's seminar

* If you accept a limiting belief then it will become true for you.
* What you believe will speak to your ability and your ability will speak to your behaviour.
* You cannot begin a journey of purpose until you dismantle limiting beliefs.
* You must challenge your belief system 
* Replace old limiting truths with new truths
* Make new positive truths

So that's it from me. Did you have limiting beliefs? What steps did you take to get rid of them?


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Saturday 22 July 2017

9 AFRICAN MAGIC MOMENTS IN LAGOS

Today is 9 years of living in this exciting town called Lagos and to mark the anniversary I want to share 9 African Magic moments of living here that will never be forgotten.

Lekki  Epe Expressway

1.       First Training Experience

My first experience of working in Lagos was delivering Customer Service Training on behalf of Customer Centricity which is owned by Mrs Uloma Umeano. On one such occasion I delivered training to bank security guards. My accent was just too fresh, too English and too Oyiboish for the security guards to understand what I was saying. To top that I had no knowledge of the local lingo. You know Lagos phrases that are familiar to us locals (Yes I'm now a local hehehe). I am sure they were like… ‘’wetin dis babe dey yan sef’’ and they carried on staring at me and looking somewhat confused. Talk about being thrown in the deep end but looking back it was really quite funny, good experience and thank God that I've gone on to deliver more training. 

2.       Drama At The Back Roads

Hmmmm and then I had major drama. My former driver Mr Amos decided to go through the back beach route to avoid major traffic on the Lekki Epe Express road. I was cautious  because I'd heard horror stories. He said, ‘’Don’t worry ma I know what I’m doing’’ On his route to doing what he said he knew he was doing, our vehicle sunk in the sand and before you could say boo, area boys surrounded our vehicle in the middle of nowhere. I just wanted to hide and curl up in the car. To say that I was scared is an understatement. Thankfully, the area boys were not bad boys and as long as we had cash, they helped us out from the sand. 

I didn’t fire Mr Amos but warned him never to pull that stunt again. He smiled and said ‘’ Yes ma.’’

Fond memories singing ''We are the World'' 

3.       Wow Divas Cancer Charity Ball

I joined a network in 2011 called WOW Divas (now known as iWOW) which is founded by Udo Okonjo. I was part of the volunteer committee and was involved in delivering impactful activities and events such as Breast Cancer and Autism Awareness.  I have fond memories of that season especially the Charity Ball.  It was really memorable and I was part of a choir singing ‘’’We are the World’’ and ''Heal the World''. Move over Sister Act lol. I learned a lot about Passion, Purpose and Possibilities from that season and I've also made great sister friends that will last a lifetime. I'm grateful. 

Here's a clip of our song at the Charity Ball


4.       Subsidiary Drama

During the crisis of the subsidiary, I recall our estate having a black out, No electricity for 5 days and further to that, we had thugs at our entrance gate, threatening to come inside and cause harm. Thank God it was all sorted but that was a scary period. Never been at home for 5 days before. Never been so scared but you know the saying, ''What doesnt kill you makes you stronger''. 




Book Launch and Gala delivered for ACAN managed by Majestically Rare

5.       Majestically Rare

When I started my business 6 years ago, like many start ups, I was all over the place delivering events for ALL occassions. I delivered children's parties,  milestone parties and weddings.  I soon discovered a niche for SME's grew into delivering corporate events, marketing consultancy and training. I am grateful for amazing projects and collaborations. Check out a clip below of a role play at one of our High Impact Business Growth workshops staring my husband - scene one Action!




6.       Impacting Through Speaking

I've been blessed to speak on various platforms since arriving in Lagos but one that was heartfelt was speaking at University of Lagos Women Society 50th Anniversary event and speaking to widows from their Alumni. It was such a pleasure to give widows hope, based on three case studies of three widows that are doing their best despite their circumstances. 

7.       Deepened Friendships

I love deep meaningful friendships but when you move to a new city it is often difficult connecting with people that understand you and vice versa. At one point I thought I was never going to make deep friendships and I longed for my girlies in London. Glad to say that I have connected with a few ladies that I know will be life long friends by God's grace.  Too many to name but you know yourselves and thank you for the love! Mwah


I have a dream that All girls will be confident and see themselves as valuable

It takes a Village to Raise a Girl

8.       Raising Confident Girls

I've been fortunate give talks at several Lagos schools and groups including Meadow Hall School, Great Scholars, Chrisland School, St Saviours Brownies, Queens College Lagos and TPH Junior Church just to name a few since relocating. But my major calling has always leaned towards girls, especially ones that suffer from low self-esteem and low confidence.  It is no wonder that Raising Confident Girls was coined in 2014 and became the NGO last year. It’s been so purposeful.

From Lagos to Owerri

9.       My Igba Nkwu – Lagos Shopping

Last but not least, my story would not be complete if I dont mention our Igba Nkwu that happened this year. It took place in Owerri but the major shopping for Igba Nkwu items came from Lagos.  My cuz, Faith Okolie escorted me to Balogun market where I was spoilt for choice and found my beautiful George Material. Nkechi Abii, a brilliant Lagos fashion designer sowed my beautiful bridal outfit with care. Little Weavers, a well known afrocentic brand provided my husband and boys wear. My hair was designed by Chinaza at the Moonlight in Ikota. My girlies Ogo and Winifred made sure my jewelry were on point. When I hit my village, my people knew I was arriving from Lagos in style….wink. Thankful for my Lagos peeps who flew in to Owerri to grace the occasion too. 


The City that never sleeps

So there you have them, 9 African Magic moments in Lagos. As I look back I thank God for all these experiences. Who knows what the next 9 years will bring? Will I still be in Lagos or somewhere over the rainbow where blue birds fly? Only God knows where the wind will blow but one thing is for sure, if God is for me, I know it will be a great journey.


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