WHY PEOPLE ARE MEAN

A young lady asked me a very interesting question the other day. She wanted to know why some people are mean. I thought about her question and here are my top responses...

1. REVENGE

I know I have a mean streak especially when someone deliberately hurts me. Your going down....hehehe but I am learning not to take revenge and just trying my best to turn the other cheek. Pray for me lol. 

2. LACK OF AWARENESS

I don’t know any mean person that will admit that they are mean. Do you? They just don’t realise that their actions are mean.  Some people are not sensitive enough to realise how the impact of their mean behaviour affects others because they are too focused on the end result. 

3. TOO BLUNT

Some people are blunt. They have not learnt the art of ‘’TACT’’ and so what they say comes out mean. 

4. COPIED FROM PARENTS

Nobody is born mean. I've never met a mean baby, have you? But I believe that some people are mean as a result of their upbringing. Maybe they had a mean parent and copied the behaviour.  Maybe they just think mean is normal. 

5. DEEP INSECURITIES

A mean person may have issues  and battles that they are dealing with so they lash out on others. You dont know what happens behind the scenes away from all the glitter. 

6. HURT PEOPLE HURT OTHERS

Some people are mean because they have been hurt and so hurt others. They just cant forgive and forget and just set out to be mean to everyone because they are still hurting. 

7. SUPERIORITY COMPLEX

Some people sadly believe they are better than others and treat others meanly. They are rude and demanding. 

8. LACK OF EMPATHY

Some people lack empathy so come across as mean. They are not caring. If you passed out in front of them they probably wouldnt notice. It's just the way they are. Dont take it personally.

So those are my top reasons why people are mean. I promise to be kinder. How about you? Do you have a mean streak? C'mon you can admit it to me? It's only social media hehehe. 

I would love to read your responses in the comment box.

Thanks for stopping by and please feel free to share with others. Dont be mean! 

UNDERSTANDING PERSONALITY TYPES

I have seen many rants from people complaining about other people’s personality types. ‘’Oh she’s too loud, he’s too quiet, she talks too much, he’s secretive, she’s intense, he’s showy’, blah blah blah. But the more you get to understand people, the less you will become frustrated with their personality. You will come to accept that people are different.

ACCEPT DIFFERENCE

The first thing to realise is that just because someone does not behave like you, does not mean that there is something wrong with them. You have to accept their personality for what it is. Parents please take note, as we often stifle the extrovert or try to push out the introvert into situations they are not comfortable with.

We are all different.

THE INTROVERT

This is an interesting link about the introvert personality type.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/20/introverts-signs-am-i-introverted_n_3721431.html?ncid=engmodushpmg00000003

ACCEPTANCE IS KEY

In addition we have to accept where people are in their life. Judging them doesn’t help. Acceptance allows a person to be totally who they were born to be. I thank God that most of the people that I surround myself with accept me for who I am and this allows me to flourish. It’s the same for our children. If we don’t accept them for their true personality, we may indeed raise a child that is very frustrated.

THE EXTROVERT

This link here will help you understand more about extroverts in a humorous way.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/shannonrosenberg/17-charts-all-extroverts-will-immediately-relate-to?utm_term=.kd9L5wDLZQ#.owXvzmEvb0

ONE SIZE DOESN’T FIT ALL

Not everyone falls under the category of an introvert or an extrovert. There’s another personality type called the Ambivert. An ambivert can be part of a boisterous conversation, moving from person to person like a social butterfly but the same ambivert can enjoy dinner or a movie alone. For more about the Ambivert click this link. 

http://www.today.com/health/winning-personality-advantages-being-ambivert-t70236

So there you have it. I do hope this blog post helps you understand different personality types and helps you manage your expectations of people, especially those that don’t behave like you.

Please feel free to leave a comment and if you found this post insightful please share.

IGBA NKWU Part 2 - FINALLY

I guess it’s fair to say that Ive become somewhat of an Igba Nkwu expert (Igbo Traditional Wine Carrying) after the successful completion of ours on the 22 April 2017. 

Meet the newly Trados 

For the background behind why we did the Igba Nkwu after nearly 18 years of marriage and three beautiful children, please click this link for the story.

UNDERSTANDING IGBA NKWU

ON THE DAY

I was excited yet nervous about my Igba nkwu. So many things appeared to be working against a successful event. I realized on the day that I was no longer in control and I needed to put my total trust in God. 

SERIOUS FLOODING

The first sign of stress was in the morning of the Igba nkwu. A serious thunderstorm happened the night before which left our compound flooded. With fast thinking from my brother Stanley, he arranged for a supplier to drain out the water and our compound was dry again. No sign of flooding. In fact by afternoon, we had a serious heat wave.

My Big Brother - stepping in for our late Father

SETTING THE SCENE 

I appreciate the way the new generation have made traditional weddings more funky. This gives our younger couples an opportunity to be fully involved and learn more about culture and custom. Being an event planner myself and coming from a media background, I wanted a playful traditional scene so decided to join in the fun, in a small way.

Created and designed by Zee Events

Tasted as nice as it looked

THE NEGOTIATIONS

Before any merriment could start, my husband and his people had to finish off what they started 18 years ago. After much discussion, my people were finally satisfied.

My husband enjoyed this part 

MY FIRST DRESS

After 18 years of waiting to conclude the traditional marriage rites, it was important for me to dress as much as possible as an Igbo Bride. I did my research and this was my final look.

Proudly Igbo

Time to greet my guests

SEARCHING FOR MY GROOM

After attending a few trados and watching Ada Ada by Flavour on Youtube lol, I was actually looking forward to searching for my groom. I had a really great time teasing my guests as I searched for my love. My dress was designed with love by Nkechi Abii.

Let the search begin

My sweet mum flew in from London

Such sweetness at our Igba nkwu including my Mother inlaw and her sister

OUR BLESSINGS

After I discovered my groom hiding among his friends, it was now time to introduce him to my kindred - officially

Here you  go Husband

FINALLY

We had a good size of guests arrive for the event including Boss Lady, Ifeoma Okoye Agbasi one of our admin members from Raising Confidence Girls Initiative. Its a movement that is dear to my heart. 

Ifeoma representing Raising Confident Girls

For more about our movement click the link
RAISING CONFIDENT GIRLS

OUR NOLLYWOOD STYLE PHOTOSHOOT

It was such a perfect trado but we couldn’t really end without a Nollywood style photo shoot led by our photographer Francis Ikwuegbu - Fara. We had fun taking these. Here's a peak at one of them.

Photo Credit by Francis Ikwuegbu

IN MEMORY OF AUSTIN

This whole event took place to coincide and honour my late father Austin Anukem's one year memorial which took place the day before. I am confident that he is resting in perfect peace Amen.

My Late Father - Always in my heart

Igbo culture is beautiful and so are Igbo traditional weddings. Nigerian culture and custom is very rich throughout  the country and I look forward to attending several traditional weddings that are in the pipeline. Some that should have been conducted a long time ago lol, like mine. (wink)

So that’s the end of my igba nkwu story. No plans for ejeme (twins) a boy and girl like in Ada Ada Flavour video. We have our hands full with three, but you never know... (LOL)

Thank you for stopping by and feel free to comment or share my post.

All Glory to God...

View Traditional Wedding Trailer

Click here to view Part 1
Igba Nkwu - PART ONE