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Monday, April 16, 2018

FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE


I am coming down from our first Raising Confidence Girls (RCG) conference and I’m reflecting. When this movement started in 2014 my confidence was shaken. I was broken-hearted from certain things that were going on in my life. 
I was getting attacks left, right and everywhere. 



WHAT CHANGED?

My  daughter was 14 at the time and I thought if I am not confident, how the heck am I going to raise a confident girl?

So on September 15, 2014, I decided to form a group called ‘’Raising Confident Girls’’ which has now evolved into the NGO and today; and is phenomenal.

WHAT LESSONS CAN WE LEARN FROM MY EXPERIENCE?

We can ask God to use our pain for purpose. I prayed to God and asked him 
1. To deliver me from that pain
2. To turn my pain into glory.
4. To turn my pain into something positive.
4. And HE did.


And now 4 years later I am back to being my confident self. I have my ups and downs like everyone else but I am definitely not where I use to be in 2014

WHAT CHANGED?

You have to know your value. 
You have to know who’s you are. 
Confidence has to come from within.
You stand up for yourself even if it means standing alone.

WHAT CONFIDENCE IS NOT

Certificates are great BUT they dont complete you

It’s not about the accolades.
It’s not about what you do or titles.
It’s not about the bags or hair that you rock.
Its not based on your looks or how slim your waist is.
Or the area of town that you live in.

Your real confidence is your inner value and believing in yourself even when others don’t.

WHAT INNER CONFIDENCE IS 

I have come to realize that there is a clear difference between inner confidence and outer confidence. Inner confidence does not grow from material wealth, corporate success or our ability to speak in public. Otherwise there wouldnt be so many successful people seeking therapy. Its not nurtured by who ''sees'' us or the image we have built around ourselves. It can only come from deep inside of you; and how deeply you know, believe and accept yourself, what you are willing to accept from others (or not) and your ability to stay strong in your unshakable truth. That's inner confidence.



In addition you have to believe that you are a UNIQUE, INCREDIBLE, HUMAN BEING just like everyone else
And that you can gain access to anything to desire and then work your damn hardest on your gifts to offer value to the world. So I now stand in 2018 to say yes I am confident because I believe in my value.

If you want to watch FULL STORY click the link button here.


Thanks for stopping by and please share to anyone who will benefit from my nuggets. 

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MUMS & DAUGHTERS GROW TOGETHER


Tuesday, April 10, 2018

MUMS & DAUGHTERS GROW TOGETHER


On Saturday 7 April all roads led to the very first Mums and Daughters Conference powered by Raising Confident Girls Initiative. The theme was ''We Grow Together''. The day started with a red carpet experience compered by Linda Orajekwe who interviewed mums and daughters as they arrived. The first 30 families to arrive received a book gift titled ''The Courageous Girl’’ by Mofoluwaso Ilevbare.






Next, our delightful MC, Mrs Regina Ogbodo asked everyone to get to know each other. The welcome address was shared by the founder Mrs RiRi Okoye who also shared the vision: A world where every girl is confident and the mission: to provide support and useful information to help raise confident girls in our communities.

Regina Uren Chris Ogbodo - MC of the Day

RiRi Okoye - Founder

The first speaker was Taiye Aluko who spoke openly about building strong relationships with girls. She said mums should avoid comparing siblings because that causes lack of confidence. Her mum often compared her with her extroverted twin. Mums are wiser than their daughters but girls are smarter. In order to build strong relationships in our daughters, mums have to be strong which takes a journey of self discovery and transformation.

Taiye Aluko - Speaker




Yinka Enahoro was the next speaker and talked passionately about Love Languages. She gave a descriptive summary of all the love languages. She informed the audience that she had taken the love language exercise with both her children and it helps them relate better with each other. 
Yinka Enahoro - Speaker

She also said that because her daughter knows her love language which is Affirmation, she actually goes out of her way to affirm her mum. Yinka does the same with her daughter who's love language is Acts of service. She also said that love languages can change depending what stage your daughter is at in life.
See link to  5 LOVE LANGUAGES





Audrey Abayomi was our final speaker. She shared in detail about Societal Pressures and how to avoid them. As a psychologist, she was able to break it down and communicate hard facts about the impact not just for girls but mothers too. Mums have to figure out a way to love ourselves first. We have to be confident in who we are and not follow fads because our girls are watching and will copy us and peer pressure cycle continues. She shared an interesting story of sushi. Audrey said she has never eaten sushi but she just doesn’t like it. Raw fish is distasteful to her. Maybe if she tastes it she might like it. But right now she doesnt like or want sushi.

Audrey Abayomi

This is how our girls can relate it to someone who doesn’t like them. It’s because just like sushi they have never tasted our girls. They dont know our girls intimately. So girls should be worried if some does like them. They are just sushified and the audience roared with laughter.



The next session was Question and Answers led by Regina our brilliant MC. The audience found this session really insightful and an eye opener and it was reflected on the feedback forms. The audience were able to really open up to our guest speakers and ask some pressing questions. 



One particular young girl wanted to know why her mum always says. ‘Are you Okay, Are you Okay’’ in the Nigerian context as if the daughter is stupid. The mothers were told that this kind of questioning can have long term effects on a girls confidence. RiRi Okoye also mentioned in the Q&A session that an extrovert is not necessarily confident and an introvert is not less confident either. They are just a girls personality trait.A lot of time was spent really tackling questions and these will be shared on our platform in due course..


We were really looking forward to watching Ladi’s LIVE feed but unfortunately due to some unforseen technical issues, it didn’t take place. Ladi will share her points on Raising Confident Girls private group at a later date, about a lovely outing she had with two confident 17 year old girls.
Ladi Di with two confident girls 


After the Q&A sessions, mums and daughters had fun with Ifeoma Agbasi who delivered a session on ‘’How well do you know you mum and how well do you know your daughter?’’. Some mothers were quite surprised at how little their daughters knew them and vice versa.

Ifeoma Agbasi hosted the games



Damie Onasanya and Ini Obinna- Onunkwo led the Fashion and Dance off show and there were plenty of prizes to give away from sponsors such as from Hugs & Stitches, Design Essentials, Lillian Collins Spa, Zaron Cosmetics and N Lounge & Spa. The event ended with a vote of thanks, cutting of cake and dance dance dance.



Ini and Damie hosted the Fashion show

Some Feedback from attendees

It was a very interesting programme and time for bonding betweem me and my 3 daughters.

A great first outing! Nice venue, amazing resources persons and invaluable lessons

This was a well thought out event. The topics were relevant.

The event was impactful and discussions were on point. The key speakers were knowledgeable about their subject matter. Good publicity and organisation.

The Question and Answer session was quite an eye opener. The talks were also educative.

The event was very eye opening and inspiring 

Special thanks to everyone including:
Sponsors
Teeky Arena, Hugs & Stitches, Little Weavers, Majestically Rare Events
Design Essentials, HTT Communications, Suave Events, N Lounge & Spa
Zaron Cosmetics, Lilian Collins Spa
Media Sponsors: Connect Nigeria, Bella Naija, The Guardian
Comperes: Regina Ogbodo, Linda Orajekwe
Speakers: Taiye Aluko, Yinka Enahoro, Audrey Abayomi
Universal Volunteers - Ushers
And to all our Mums and daughters that showed up on the day. We really enjoyed your presence




Read here about us  RAISING CONFIDENT GIRLS

On behalf of RCG Committee thank you very much with love always RiRi, Ladi, Damie,Yinka, Ifeoma, Ini, Taiye and Bonita - RCG Conference Committee 

Friday, March 30, 2018

HOW TO ATTRACT WHAT YOU DESIRE DAILY


For quite some time Ive become fascinated with the ‘’Law of Attraction’’ which simply states that we attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. I believe that it points to the scripture which says ‘’ As a man thinketh so he is’’ (Proverbs 23:7). Previously, I would allow my negative thoughts get the better of me; but I wanted to find, a better way to control my thoughts, so that they don’t control me. Since I started applying some of tactics from the Law, I have a more fulfilling and content life. It’s about taking absolute control of your thought life.


So these are some of the practical steps that I do on a daily basis that help me attract what I desire. I hope you find them useful.

06:00 Visualize

In the morning, after my quiet time, I take a moment to visualise the day’s events unfolding in a positive way. My vision board is located strategically in my bedroom. I actually have two vision boards. Everything that I want to achieve for the year is on that board. I visualize myself achieving them. 



06:10 Focus On Your Goals

At the beginning of the year, like many of you, I wrote down many goals. On a daily basis I review them and I choose at least one tactic that I want to accomplish for the day that will help me get closer to my goals. This strategy is more effective and stops me from feeling overwhelmed by so many goals.




06:30 Practice Affirmations

There is real power in affirmations and I recite both spiritual and career ones to myself.  By the end of my affirmations, I feel really positive and ready to take charge of my day. I can certainly see a lot of those affirmations unfolding in my life and I smile.

07:00 Discuss Your Plans

Find a small circle of friends or loved ones and share your plans. It helps you to be accountable. I love my small circle of trusted sister friends. In addition, if you have a journal write your plans down and be accountable.


07:30 Random Acts of Kindness

Be intentional in being kind because kindness always come back. What does this look like? Compliment someone, share someone’s post, and offer to help someone else. Say something nice.Going the extra mile to be kind really does have a lot of benefits for your overall well being as well as others. It certainly helps me. I choose to be kind.



08:00 Spread Positive Energy

I try and spread as much positive energy by focusing on the good things that are happening in my life or in the world. I do have challenges like everyone else but I choose not to wallow in them but rather I choose to be positive. I am intentional with what I share on social media: My intention is always too share love, peace and hope.


12:00 Be Kind to Yourself

At lunchtime, try and do one random act of kindness for yourself. What does this look like? Rest at lunchtime. You deserve to rest. Have a healthy lunch. Take a walk. Have a chocolate (Not everyday lol). Buy yourself something nice. Accept a compliment.


18:00: Reflect on Your Day

Hopefully you’ve closed down now for the day. This is the time to unwind with your family or close circle and talk about the things you enjoyed or goals you achieved.


21:00  Quiet Time

Find a quiet place to mediate, pray and be thankful for the day.



22:00 Gratitude Before Bedtime

Before you sleep write down at least one thing you are grateful for. This also keeps nightmares and restless thoughts away. 

So that is it from me. These are some of the tips I use to help me attract what I really want. How about you? Have you used the law of attraction to get what you want? Did it work for you?

Thanks for stopping by and please feel free to share with others that may benefit.


About author

RiRi is a dedicated Events & Marketing Experts/ trainer who is passionate about serving clients at Majestically Rare to the highest standards. Only the best will do. She is also the founder of Raising Confident Girls Initiative with a clear vision: A world where every girl is confident. 



Thursday, March 8, 2018

5 TYPES OF WOMEN I ADMIRE


Today is International Women’s Day and I decided to write about the five types of women in my life that I admire and some have a combination of traits. In no particular order, here are my types. 



The Confident Woman

She’s the type of woman who knows who she is. She doesn’t follow the crowd or seek approval from anyone. Because she is confident, she’s not afraid to be completely open and honest with herself and those around her.  Her emotional well being is important and she will often pull away from situations that are not uplifting . Everyone is drawn to her confidence.


The Honest Woman

She’s the type of woman who is very truthful. If she’s your friend, she will be totally honest with you too. Sometimes it might seem hurtful but shes coming from a good place. She has a good heart and really has your back.



The Empathy Woman


She’s the type of woman who understands what you are going through. She’s there for her friends through thick and thin. She makes them see sense. She’s there for you in all seasons. She will drop everything to listen to your rant.


The Praying Woman

She’s the type of woman that will bombard you with prayer notes. She always invites you to one prayer meeting or the other. When she sees challenges in your life, she always prays for you. But you would never know because it’s between her and God. She just wants to see you have a strong relationship with your Maker.



The Loving Woman

She’s the type of woman that is often misunderstood because she loves from a pure heart. She has a very forgiving heart and just seeks peace daily. She is often the mediator and also tries to get her friends to be at peace with each other. The loving woman never forgets birthdays or other celebrations. She just loves to love. It’s part of her DNA.





The Go Getter


She’s not afraid of hard work. She keeps working until she gets her breakthrough. She knows the value of seeking out mentors or attending empowerment events. She's active is reaching for the skies. Nothing or nobody can stop her.  

I am so blessed to have so many amazing women in my life. Today I celebrate you all.
Happy’s Women Day. 

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About author
RiRi is a dedicated Events & Marketing Experts who is passionate about serving clients at Majestically Rare to the highest standards. Only the best will do. She is also the founder of Raising Confident Girls Initiative with a clear vision: A world where every girl is confident. 

Sunday, March 4, 2018

8 CHARACTERISTICS THAT MAKE A GREAT TEAM! (IN PICTURES)


I have worked in enough teams throughout my life to realise that great performance is increased when there are great team dynamics. At a recent training in Abuja, I informed delegates that great teams don’t come by chance. They are improved with the following characteristics.




A Compelling Purpose

When a team knows the reason why they exist and it is communicated clearly, this increases team performance. Leaders and managers should make communication clear and concise especially in the forming stage of the group, so that every team member knows and understands why they are there.



Shared Leadership

Have you noticed what happens when ONE person dominates a team? The team feel like they are controlled by one person. This does not bring unity. When there is shared leadership, its allows for more flexibility and bonding and improved team performance. This can be achieved by delegating more roles and responsibilities to others.





Great Structures

A team performs better when there are great structures. Everyone knows their roles and responsibilities and those of others. There is also access to information that is vital to the project and an open door policy for communication.



Everyone is Committed

I have been in teams where there are only a few members that are committed to working on a project. A great team has everyone engaged and committed. This is usually because the entire team is keyed on to the vision.



They Embrace Differences

Good teams understand that everyone is different. Everyone’s experiences are unique. Nobody is shut down. Views and opinions are respected. Team players normally have strong emotional intelligence and are able to manage their emotions and understand the emotions of others. They also demonstrate empathy which is the ability to understand and feel the emotions of others in their team. 



Personal Growth

Team members recognize that in order to be effective they take out time to know themselves. They attend personal development training and they seek to learn better ways of working with others.



Common Values

Teams that perform well have common values and shared vision. This enables them to work well together. They are all keyed into doing their best to achieve the objectives of the project.



Great Results

Great teams achieve great results. The team grows from strength to strength and every team player is part of the success.

So this is where I pause. Do you have anything to add to great team performance? Do get in touch if you require training to improve team performance or business skills such as marketing or sales. I can be reached at rita@majesticallyrare.com  Please feel free to leave a comment and share with others that may benefit. 

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Saturday, February 17, 2018

WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

As a young 8 year old, I use to attend a small Baptist church near my house called Dean Hall. I wasn’t a Baptist. I was raised a Catholic but because Dean Hall was 2 minutes away I attended the vibrant Sunday school after my Catholic church service.  The Sunday school lessons were fun and those who attended regularly received prizes. So I made it my goal to be there every Sunday. There was so much love in Dean Hall of which I have very fond memories. 


EARLY YEARS

At Dean Hall I learned about selfless love. I learned that is was so important to love my neighbour as myself. I learned the stories of the Samaritan and that it was important to treat others just like myself. The core of the message at Dean Hall was love and selflessness. I was taught to always think about others more than myself just as Jesus did. And as an 8 year old, this message stuck with me right up to adulthood until myself and my husband joined the Pentecostal movement in 1998.

CHILDHOOD MEMORIES RE-IGNITED


ME ME ME BECAME SO IMPORTANT

I was no longer taught about selflessness, rather I was taught I was the head not the tail. I was told that I was the most important person in the world because I was God’s child.  My needs mattered more than anything else. I was taught how God was going to favour me, bless me, proposer me and elevate me me me. I got carried away with all this me, me me and my daily prayer was ‘’God what have you done for me lately’’. I needed a deep spiritual walk and we moved to Jesus House London. But we relocated to Lagos in 2008 and me, me, me, way of teaching was heightened in some churches.  

ME ME ME ME ME ME


MOVING TO SOLID FOOD

But now I know better. I have returned to what I was taught as an 8 year old.  I know now that to Love my neighbour as myself is not a command to love myself. To love myself is natural because scriptures assumes I already love myself. As a mature Christian, I realise how important it is to focus less on myself but more on the needs of others. Is this easy to do? Not at all! Do I fall short of this? Yes regularly! But at least I know what I am suppose to do. So what about loving oneself. Isnt that something that a movement that I belong to called Raising Confident Girls encourages ? Yes it is. Our girls are wonderfully and fearfully made but true confidence comes when we are serving others, not consumed by selflove.

I am not saying loving oneself isn’t important. It just shouldnt be an obsession. (Philippians 2: 3- 4)




What’s love got to do with it? When we focus on loving others as we love ourselves in the way Christ taught us, then we are more likely to shine HIS light and win souls to Christ because that is the goal right? Food for thought!

What is your view about the Bible context of loving yourself? Have you been on a similar journey to me? Please leave a message in the comment box and thanks for stopping by.

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DONT LOVE ME AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF

About author
RiRi is a dedicated Events & Marketing Experts who is passionate about serving clients at Majestically Rare to the highest standards. Only the best will do. She is also the founder of Raising Confident Girls Initiative with a clear vision: A world where every girl is confident.